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Article on "Austin" - Original Song by Natalie Foreverland

 

It all started with a journey to Austin, Texas in May 2014. Singer/Songwriter Natalie Foreverland traveled to this beautiful city and fell in love with its youth, music, and vibrance. One month later as she was reminiscing on her memories made in Austin, Texas, she started writing a "to be" new Country hit single, "Austin." 

Natalie writes, "Austin won't you come to me I want get rocked in your bluebell breeze.  I wanta float on the lake in the middle of your city.  Oh Silicon Valley ain't got nothin' on you. You're my love bug tech and my country guru, Austin won't you come to me my boo."
Little did she know the next day she would walk into her studio and there would sit a little girl named Austin, who was fighting the big, "C" (yep... the pink ribbon bow word) Austin wanted to sing and record herself singing "Amazing Grace," in case she flew off to heaven before she got to accomplish her bucket list. Natalie's eyes filled with tears. She went home that night and wrote the second verse of "Austin."  Somehow, "A little angel named Austin took that city's place."
It's a valuable lesson.  Natalie wanted to convey through her lyrics that life is not about places and things.  It's about loving, helping, and caring for people and trying to make this world a better place.  Natalie explained, "If we can make hearts happy through music, maybe we can bring to life that which wants to die. Sometimes a story can open our eyes as to what's really important in life. Austin changed my life."
Natalie Foreverland will be performing "Austin" and music from her latest album "Christmas Morning" along with 3 new singles (Tebow316, Tebow Goin Be Free, and My Beauty - to be released Jan. 2017) at FreshBrew Coffee House in Myrtle Beach SC, December 2nd at 7:00PM. Come enjoy some heartfelt country mixed with blues and jazz textures. Natalie Foreverland has a sound that is unique. Moreover she's got a story that may just change your life.  After all, stories mixed with Jesus tend to do just that.....Change your life. Or at least that's what Natalie says. 
Written by Sabrina Christmas

 

I Am Eve

 

I'm getting back to the garden, and I'm burning down the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil."  Don't try to stop me!  The cherubim that guard the gate are out to lunch.  If you need to find me I'll be talking to the animals.  Don't freak out when they talk back or you'll scare them.  I'll meet you at the Tree of Life at 8PM sharp.  Don't be late.  The Lion King will be there waiting on us.  Our appointment with Him is crucial.  We must save the earth.  Yep, Noah may be coming back into the picture and we are gonna have to nip this in the bud, or there could be a major flood. #IAmEveToday #IAmEve #RolePlay #NatalieForeverland #SaveTheEarthWithMusic

Running A Race To Get The Prize

 

RUNNING A RACE TO GET THE PRIZE

I do my best work when the world's asleep and I can't feel their thoughts...
But I can't stay awake when the schedule takes dominion over bought... TIME.
Time you'll never marry me! I've got you by the horns!
Late's just the gate that sometimes takes
The characteristic of a thorn.

I've just fallen behind, but I'm fixing' to rise
I'm running a race to get the prize
Oh Time... You're just a lie and I'll manipulate your tide!
I'm running a race to get the prize
So get behind me!... you know your name
I'm pressing toward the mark 
For the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus
I'M RUNNING A RACE TO GET THE PRIZE!

By Natalie Foreverland

He Said "No"

 
HE SAID, “NO”
I wrestled with God today.  I dove into the lap lane of the pool at my gym and fought the waters with every muscle contained in my body.  I told Him what I wanted.  I demanded it from my very being.  My heart screamed at Him.  My soul was determined to make Him understand.  He responded.  He said “No.”  
I swam faster.  My heart raced as I cried angry tears under the water.   I expressed my frustration and resentment towards Him, because I’ve had to wait so long for this one thing I want.  I was tired of the “weight” of the “wait”.   It wasn’t fair.  I’ve been faithful in the small things.  I want more.  He still said “No.”  
Out of breath and gasping for air, I decided to entreat Him with a lighter approach.  Instead of attacking my backstroke, I chose to convert to ballet in the water.  Along with every  “grand battement passé, de’veloppe’” I did, I begged him to let me do what I wanted to do.  I just wanted my way.  I pleaded with him and stated my case with persuasive rationalizations.   “Please…Please….Please…Pretty Please?”  He still said “No”.  
“I don’t like your answer!  I want to do what I want to do and I don’t want any repercussions from You!  I’ve had it!” I exclaimed through my soul. My heart was gently reminded of what consequences could follow, if I chose to not listen to “The Fear of God” spirit He put in me so long ago.  
I attacked my backstroke with a vengeance.  I just needed to swim.  I just wanted to shut out the voice I knew so well….the voice that said “No”.  It wasn’t what I wanted.  It wasn’t what I felt I deserved.  But, when I reached the pool’s edge, exhausted and weakened by my physical exertion and emotional turmoil, I sighed.  I submitted.  I told Him I would do what He wanted. 
Suddenly He reminded me of the red flags, full of horns that had reared their heads 3 weeks ago…….. red flags of “lawlessness”, my heart chose to ignore.  He reminded me of what those red flags could turn into, and how my heart could be ravaged.  His answer was firm.  He said “No”.    
With tears welling in my eyes, as I walked into the locker room, my heart said these words, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.”  
So, with a “will” that trumped my “heart”, (strength only given by Him) 
I let go of that which I desired.  Despite all of my intense emotions and feelings, it all comes down to this…I trust Him with my heart.  I gave it to Him long ago.  So I will obey, simply because He said, “No.” 
Until next time, or Once upon a time, I'll be seeing you...
His Evening Star,
Natalie Foreverland

"Tebow Goin' Be Free" Album Cover

 

Quit, #Jupiter and Pluto

 

Just Love Them

 

Christmas Morning Album Cover

 

Floundering

 

I'm Floundering around in a pool that expounds, upon twisted fate and heaven's wait.

My heart screams "Jump In! Baby you got fins! Why you worrying' when God's got this?"

But are you watching me, 'cause I'm by myself

I'm scared and alone and I need your help

I want you to do it for me instead of doing it through me....

It's easier that way, wouldn't you say?  Why must I go it alone?

The will to persist is honing in on my weakness! I'M TRYING TO DELETE THIS!

WHY MUST I GO IT ALONE?

Strengthen my hands....Strengthen my will....Stengthen my heart.

I'm prone to wander Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.

Take my heart Lord take and seal it.  Seal it for thy courts above.

The will to persist is honing in on my weakness....I'm trying to delete this....Why must I go it alone?

By: Natalie Foreverland 

 

 

True That!

 

TRUE THAT!

By Natalie Foreverland

Are you a metaphor lore?
Seeking to explore the reasoning of doubt and limitations clout,
Categories that group things into can and can't do
and list characteristics as if you were a ballistics....report.

Oh but free your mind, into metaphors sublime
With limitless free and "just being me"
It is here you'll find the truth so kind
And the one who made you into a unique find

So go in and explore....your soul's depth!
Don't wade in the waters, dive in and accept
That you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
It's true! True it! True that! Truth is the true comeback!

For YOU ARE many sublime metaphors
That can't be contained by human brains
You are limitless free to "just be me."
You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
TRUE THAT!

 

Let Your Words Be Few

 

We touch so many topics, but are they just hot picks..

Of delicious Apple strudels confectioned with cinnamon noodles

Or could they simply be a weave, intertwined with fees

That pay a price when they roll off the tongue.

Let your words be few and never hurt the view, that limits what you to see of what lies far beneath.

You never know the full story, so you can never see the full glory of what can bloom inside, especially if it hides...

Its petals from an all seeing eye, because it's scared you won't like what you find.

Only perfection can see the beauty in non perfection...

And this is why she hides and waits... for perfection.  

He will perfect that which concerns her.  

So let your words be few.  

By: Natalie Foreverland

Who am I really?

 

Friday Night Dance at Essentia Dance, Greenville SC

 

New "Tebow Goin' Be Free" Album Cover

 

Walk Humbly With Our God

 

Superman and Wonderwoman doing the Tango

 

Oh my goodness! This is the best tango pic ever!!!!! What inspiration!!!...Guess I need to up the weights on my squats! I love superman...AND WONDER WOMAN!!!

No Wheat

 

It's 12:26am, Deb and I just stood up at the waffle house, and danced "The Marvin Gaye dance," after a full night of swing dancing...oh and yes, you caught me, I just sinned and ate a pecan waffle at the waffle house....it felt really good... #NoWheat

A Family That Dances Together, Stays together

 

I have another love in my life besides music.  It's ballroom dance.  Ballroom has been a passion of mine for going on 9 years now.  I love it because it is classy, elegant and it's fabulous excercise.  If you've ever danced East Coast Swing for 3 hours straight, you know what I mean.  However, more than that, ballroom acts as GLUE for me. It glues our amazing ballroom dance family TOGETHER.  They are my sisters and brothers.  Every night I go out to dance, I get to see my family.  

 

Although I am single and may be unqualified to give marital advice, I'm gonna break that rule.  We all know that a "Family that PRAYS together, STAYS together."  Let's add to that, "A Family that "DANCES together, STAYS together too!"  There is nothing more romantic that you can do with your spouse than DANCE, especially ballroom.  I love to watch all the old Fred Astaire black and white movies and dream of being on that huge ballroom dance floor whirling around the floor. Granted it may take time for you to learn, but it's worth the effort. Just do it and stick with it!

 

Furthermore, if you're looking for a "chord of 3 that is not easily broken."  Here it is!

A family that PRAYS together, STAYS together

A family that DANCES together, STAYS together

A family that SINGS together, STAYS together

So come join me on the dance floor...Maybe we will sing while we dance!...I'll be seein' you.

 

His Evening Star,

Natalie Foreverland

Wisdom Clothes

 

Get To Where You're Goin'

 
GET WHERE YOU’RE GOIN’
BY: NATALIE FOREVERLAND
(written for Courtney Johnson's monologue performance 
 in the Miss. Clemson Pageant 2016.)
YOU’VE GOT TO GET WHERE YOU’RE GOIN’ BEFORE YOU FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE GOIN’ WITH. You may ask, “How do I get to where I’m goin’?” I’m gonna give you 4 steps to get to your destiny.  That is where you are goin’.
 
#1 Find a hobbie that makes you money….If ya don’t work, ya don’t eat and we women know the 4 responsibilities of a man..…Provide, Protect, be faithful… and baby take out the trash... and if you don't have a man well you get to do all 4 yourself....yes, that's the price of independence.
#2 Find a hobbie that keeps you fit. It’s gonna be hard getting where your going in life if you can barely breath after walking up two flights of steps.  Take ballet, Zumba, Sports…honey whatever floats your boat…..just do it…..but lay off the Ben and Jerry’s, except once a week.  Sometimes it would be better to just sit on it, cause that’s where it’s goin’.
#3 Find a hobbie that feeds your Creativity.  Dance, Sing, Play an Instrument, Write, Act, or Paint. …(dreamily) Ahhh, Just like Allie painted in the notebook, on that wrap around porch that Noah built for her…
#4 Find a location that you like (a city, state) where you can do all three.  Newsflash….that would be CLEMSON!
If you don’t have the energy for these 4 steps, DE-CLUTTER YOUR LIFE. Clean your dorm. Throw away the past. Organize and study for your exams.  Quit looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. You gotta get to where you’re goin’ before you figure out who you’re goin’ with.  For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, to prosper you and give you hope and a future…(Jeremiah 29:11)
SO GET TO WHERE YOU’RE GOIN.

Kung Fu

 

If you only do what you can do, you'll never find out what you are able to do..... #kungfu #ILoveKungFu

Protect your Destiny Dreams

 

Dont let anyone spray weed killer on your flowers. Delete dream-killers from your life. Be a dream-builder. Encourage others. Elvis Presley was told by a successful performer at the Grand ole opry, "You ain't going nowhere son. You ought to go back to driving a truck." Danny Zanuck, producer from 20th Century Fox, said in 1946, "Television won't last bc people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night."......Protect your flowers from dream-killers. Dismiss negative comments from hoodlums. If you can't, then hide-out. Escape the world until your God-assigned project is complete.

Create in me a clean Heart

 

I keep hearing Gods words in my mind today, bc of the song sung in church. .... Create in me a clean heart oh god, and renew a right spirit within me. ... Cast me not away from your presence oh Lord. ...take not your Holy Spirit from me. ... restore unto me the joy of your salvation and renew a right spirit within me....... I think there is something magical that happens in the soul when we sing scripture. ... it just makes the world a more beautiful place....

Music Video Crew for "I Can't Stop Thinking About You."

 

Still Moved

 

So I'm at a basketball tournament and I'm watching the other team's coaches during halftime. The coach and assistant coach were around 70 years old. ..while the head coach was giving instruction, the assistant coach went around to each player and put a towel under their chin and poured water into their mouths from a plastic bottle. ......I can't tell you why. ..... but it moved me. .... the mere simple servant image showing that a coach would care enough to pour water into their player's mouth while they are listening to their head coach and don't have time for a drink. .... The assistant coach even wiped their chins. ......I talked to him afterward. I told him how that simple action moved me.... He said, "you know why I do that?.... its bc I have 10 grandchildren. ...I am very blessed".......His name was mr Jimmy. .....I just called him "Jesus Walking" #stillmoved

Ms. Humility - The Mary Poppins Teacher

 

Ms. Humility!… Out of all of my teachers, I deem her to be the harshest.  She is embarrassing and tends to go public.  The one thing you thought you were good at, she can destroy in a matter of seconds.  I picture her as this strict, “ruler in hand” angel sent from heaven, assigned to those who have been overtaken by the evil sea monster called the leviathan, whose scales and bodily structure, form the DNA of pride.  I pray fervently she does not get assigned to me. 

 

Whatever you do, do not think you are the most beautiful creature on the earth, because Ms. Humility holds obesity in the palm of her hand.  We all know how hard it is to recover from obesity.  It requires many miles on the treadmill and many laps in the pool, not to mention the weight training, yoga, and sugar deletion. 

 

Although Ms. Humility is a harsh teacher, her beauty is in the fact that you never forget her lessons.  She will help you remember who you can and can’t trust.  She shows you the punch before you are blind sighted.  She reminds you to examine your heart so that pride does not become rooted.  She enables you to “make your words few”.  She reminds you to give glory to God for your abilities, as she is after all, one of God’s many voices. 

 

Still, I run from her.  She makes me cry way too often and makes me feel weak.  I pray to God every day that he will not assign her to me as a teacher.  The problem with this is that in an effort to be humble, we just try too hard.  We try to say just the right thing and sometimes we end up putting ourselves down.  We say “It’s all about Him NOTHING about me.”  But actually IT IS about you.  Last time I checked, Jesus Christ died on the cross FOR YOU.

 

The son has set us free.  He calls us to live in freedom.  At some point that freedom calls us to blossom and grow!   If we hide because we are fearful of Ms. Humility, how can we blossom?  How will you ever be able to get out of the boat and walk on water?  It’s not about whether you walk on the water or whether you sink!  The God of the universe holds your hand either way.  IT’S ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU GET OUT OF THE BOAT!  QUIT HIDING!  “He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.”  

 

For many years Joshua learned under Moses.  He saw Moses lead the Israelites across the Red Sea.  He saw Moses climb Mt. Horeb to meet with God.  He saw Moses come down from the mountain with the 10 commandments.  Joshua followed the humblest man on the face of the earth,  Moses was a friend of God.  Yet Joshua saw Ms. Humility at work, when Moses was not allowed to go into the Promise Land because he disobeyed the word of the Lord.  Can you imagine how crushing that was?  How heart wrenching!  One little mistake!   But it was one mistake that was in front of all of Israel.  So Joshua learned a lesson that Ms. Humility teaches well,  “To whom much is given, much is required”.   Did Joshua hide after he saw the harshness of Ms. Humility?  It must have pained him to see Moses grieve over not being able to go into the promised land.  His heart had to cry with Moses. 

 

Yet Joshua stepped up to the plate.  Moses dubbed him as the new “knight in shining armor” who would lead Israel across the Jordan.  Joshua led Israel to conquer Jericho, the Amorites, Perizzites, Canaanites. Hittites, Girgashites, Hivites, and Jebusites.  Moses had trained him well.  Joshua possessed his land with power.  He was the new leader of Israel.  He came forth when God said to come.  “The force” was with him.

 

Esther was given much the same choice.  She had a decision to make.  She could either walk the red carpet, present herself to the king, and plead for her people or she could stay in her sub-castle and pray no one found out she was a Jew, while she watched her people be destroyed.   She could have feared Ms. Humility.  After all if the king did not put forth his scepter, she would have been chopped liver.  Oh but NO!  She used her full arsenal of God given remedies.  She walked that red carpet, dressed to the “T”.  Had “Entertainment Tonight” existed, they never would have stopped talking about it. The king extended his scepter to Ms. America.  She then woooed the king with her beauty and grace.  She fixed 3 amazing gourmet meals to fill his tummy and then she presented her case.   Haman was hung and Israel was saved.  The rest is history.

 

Esther and Joshua were called for “Such a Time As This”.  Had they hid, and decided not to bloom, deliverance would have arisen from another place.  BUT THEY WOULD HAVE MISSED AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY TO BE PART OF GOD’S PLAN!    Who wants to miss that?   Your age and your appearance are irrelevant!  If God has called you to bloom, “Just do it”.  If he has put you in a training stage, learn all you can learn.  Be ready to bloom when He opens the door for you to do so. 

 

Learn from Ms. Humility.  But don’t hide and don’t be afraid.  She actually has a sweet side much like Mary Poppins; and after you’ve learned your lesson, she smiles and flies away with her umbrella.  Her work is done.

 

May “The Force” be with you… Until next time, or Once upon a time,

 

His Evening Star,

Natalie Foreverland

 

           

The New Battery - Nourishing The Soul

 

THE NEW BATTERY – Nourishing The Soul

 

Three times within a three month period......when I have gone to start my car it would not start.  Each time I would sit there in my car and pray that God would start my car.  I would put my hand on the dashboard......envision God's light coming through my body into the car.  The first 2 times I had prayed after I finished the car immediately started.   But on the third incident I prayed 7 times and I prayed with a friend of mine on the phone.  Finally after the seventh intensive prayer the car started up......purring like a kitten.  I think of the story of Elijah when he was praying for rain and 7 times..........believing God even when you don't see what you are looking for.  But there was more God wanted me to see in this simple dead cell battery.

 

A car's battery is the energy source of the car.  Your soul is the energy source of your body.  God is the energy source that re-boots the soul......and keeps it charged up.  Sometimes our soul is just like that battery.....there is one dead cell in it.  Not only do we not know there is a dead cell within us......we don't know where it came from. 

 

I've had three dead cells within my soul.  The first 2 I believe are healed and I will have to tell you about them on another day.........But the third dead cell I am still morning over. It was the death of my Grandmother Terry.   For some reason I can't seem to shake her death.  Before she died, she had alheimers, and every third weekend I would go down to Hampton, SC and take care of her.  So many people would tell me what a shame it was that she was losing her mind and wasn't the person she used to be.  I however found solace in her condition.  For once In my life I could tell her anything I wanted, and she would just smile at me and say, "Well I'll be."   There is comfort in knowing you can tell someone you love anything and know that they will still love you, and because they won't remember what you told them, there is no record kept of wrong.  All is, as it was before the conversation.  But there is more...........

 

You see my grandmother was the glue to our family.  She nourished all of our souls even though some did not realize it.  Every Christmas she prepared the meals.   We would sit down to the table and eat together as a family.   We would share our lives at the dinner table, as we stuffed our bellies with pure homemade Southern love.  She made quilts for all of the Grandkids.  Every Christmas she would show us the new one she was making.  She was so proud of her handiwork.  I didn't appreciated all the things she made with her hands.......the food, the quilts, and the tablecloths......until now.  Now that she's gone I see how her loving hands nourished my soul by preparing food......and by making me gifts from her heart.......so now as I speak to you there is a dead cell in my battery.....a dead cell in my soul that I don't know how to heal.

 

So I asked God......"How do you intend on healing my soul Lord?"  I heard His still gentle voice in my heart say, " Let me nourish your soul."  I thought to myself, "How does he intend on nourishing my soul?"  Then the Lord opened my mind and it all came to me.  The answer simply put is this, "With His creation of Earth, Air, Water and Fire." 

 

Let me explain.  Last night after waking up from my Sunday afternoon nap I went in the kitchen and made homemade, chilli beans, turnip greens and cinnamon apples.  Cort, (my son) and I love to have our special candlelight dinner on Sunday nights, but I have been lax here lately due to a busy schedule.  We set the table, eat together and light the candles.  it is our special time together.  I realized that now the baton has been passed to me.  I have create traditions in my home that will nourish my soul along with the soul of my child.  Now how does this apply to earth, air, fire, and water?  When you plant a garden and tend it or when you prepare a meal with fresh vegetables.....you are touching the earth.  When you light candles there is an ambience that is created with fire.  When you sit down and eat a meal together and converse with one another there are words and sounds of laughter that fill the air that God created for you to breathe.   Finally when you drink a  glass of water or a fresh glass of homemade lemonade or southern sweet tea made with distilled water and turbinado sugar you are drinking the delicious water that God created on this earth.  God uses His elements to revive our soul. 

 

Let's dig further in Jeremiah he told Jeremiah  go to the potters house.  Have you ever made pottery and felt the clay between your fingers.......or planted flowers in your garden? (Earth)   Have you ever gone and just laid on the beach not to get a suntan but to feel see the power of the waves as they come crashing upon the shore.  (Water)  Think about how good it feels on a cool crisp morning to bundle up and take a book and read it on the porch with the sun shining on your face. (Fire)  What about that beautiful fall day when the leaves are brilliant colors and you feel the wind blow them off the trees.  (Air)  What about the horse you rode on the beach that day......the majestic-ness of his neck .......his mane .........his power........Did you know that God made that animals with the earth......just as He made Adam with the earth?  We originally came from the ground.  Wouldn't it make sense that sometimes it just feels good to stick your hands in the soil?  There is nothing more sensational than feeling, smelling, tasting, seeing, and hearing God's creations!

 

This Christmas take time to nourish one-another's souls.  Forget about what you have to get done and just be.  Create traditions that incorporate nature......God's creations into your holiday.  Make gifts with your hands and heart.  Light Candles.  Go Christmas caroling in the cold air and drink hot chocolate.  Cook together.  Play with your animals and dress them up in homemade sweaters.  Knit and Crochet.  Paint a picture.  Sing and make a joyful noise unto the Lord.  Above all fill the air with your words of encouragement and love and laughter.  The condemnation, the shame and the pictures of your past that are dark and foreboding.........they don't exist anymore.  When the Lord forgave you He reached into the past and took a shovel and dug them out and cast them into the fire, in order to change your present and future.   They are not dead......they never existed.   So live in the present and dream and create a beautiful life with what you have today......this is the abundant life!  God has taken out the old battery with the dead cell.  He has put in a new battery.........Its a soul that is alive!  So live!  This Christmas, just Live!

May THE FORCE (Jesus) be with you.  Until next time or Once upon a Time....

His Evening Star,

Natalie Foreverland

The Un-cuttable Mango

 

THE UN-CUTTABLE MANGO

Tuesday;  June 12, 2012

By: Natalie Foreverland

One of my student’s parents gave me some cucumbers from their garden, so I decided that was what I would eat for my midnight snack.  Along with it, I decided to eat a mango that I’ve had on the counter since Thursday.  The mango was extremely ripe because I failed to put it in the refrigerator after I bought it at the fruit stand on Thursday.  As I cut into it, it was almost un-cuttable.  It was so ripe, the fibers oozed juice.  It was still delicious and insatiably juicy, yet un-cuttable.   It just sort of gently partitioned itself.

 

I started thinking.  I wonder if that’s how it works with our hearts.  God makes them so tender that they simply can’t be cut.  I teach children.  I am mesmerized by their actions.  They make me feel like I’m Peter Pan in a fairytale land.  I remember watching a sweet little girl one time being made fun of.   She didn’t even notice it. When I tried to talk to her about it, she appeared oblivious as if she thought the rude children, just had a bad day.  She was un-cuttable. 

 

I remember one night Cort and I were making valentines to give out to the kids at school the next day.  He had a crush on one little girl in-particular.  He wrote, I love you,” in the Valentine card.  I said, “Cort you can’t do that, she already told you, she’s not sure she really likes you.”  He said, “Mom, I don’t care if she doesn’t love me, I still love her.”  I wept. 

 

Here I am trying to protect my own child from rejection.  Yet he has no concept of it’s pain or even the meaning of the word.  He only knows that he loves someone, regardless of whether they love him back.  He is un-cuttable.  What would that be like?  I try to imagine myself so ripe and full of God’s love that I am un-cuttable.  Is that how our heart remains guarded yet still remains a heart of flesh?  I think the answer to that question is multifaceted and intricately woven together in many different layers.  Layers that my brain simply doesn’t have the energy to ponder at the moment.   But I know God’s promise,  “I will take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” 

 

I know my Father always keeps His promises.  So for now I’ll wait, while I ponder, the un-cuttable mango.

 

"The Great White Dear" - Thoughts from the movie "Snow White and the Huntsman"

 

THE GREAT WHITE DEER                                                 Saturday, June 2nd, 2012

 

I went to “Snow White and the Huntsman”.  I don’t advise it for children because it was extremely dark/scary in some parts, however for myself God definitely spoke to me through it.

 

I related to Snow White.  I feel as though I’ve been trapped in the tower of a castle for so long feeling like there is some evil queen out there trying to pin me down.  She doesn’t want me to be beautiful or to see my worth.  She wants to suck the life out of my spirit, soul, heart and mind.  I used to see only the beautiful and purest things within people, and now I seem to only see the “evil that lies beneath,” because I am fearful of being deceived.  I’ve escaped into a dark forest, only there was no huntsman to help me.  It was just me, my son, and God.  I’ve finally found a safe haven within my mind and heart.  It is a land untouched, pure and beautiful, full of birds and animals, that God uses to guide me to His heart.  It’s lovely beyond lovely and grows within my being, every day. 

 

The birds wake me up one morning and take to “the special place.”  Somehow I knew I’d see him there.  It was the perfect meeting place.  The water sparkled like a million stars floating in the universe’s sea, the grass was saturated with green, and the flowers bloomed with exploding birth and extravagantly made dresses.  In the midst of all this beauty, there he was, “The Great White Deer.”  God knew this was the representation of His gentle love that I was searching for.  I walked up to him. His antlers were so intricately formed.  He was so strong yet so gentle.  When I looked into his eyes it was like looking into the face of God.  For the first time I considered myself Moses, and all I could do is cry.  I touched his face with my hands, laid my face against his, in restful peace.

 

I’ve traveled alone, yet not alone with God, for so very long.  God has used my son as a guiding light to strengthen my spirit and heart along the way.  I’ve been given the treasures in darkness and many secrets, but somewhere along the journey due to betrayal and evil pervasion, I lost sight of love.  I couldn’t feel it.  I didn’t desire it.  I just wanted to love my son and God, no one else.  All hope I had for humanity was lost, yet my mouth still proclaimed the greatness of the power of God’s salvation. 

 

But everything changed when I looked into His eyes…..when I touched his face.  Maybe I just needed to know that the gentle love of God existed, and that my father really was all He said He was.  Maybe God desired to show himself to me through a deer so I could “feel His love” verses “Aslan” the great and mighty lion.  All I know is this. I desire to be healed from non-caring, non-feeling, this safety shell I’ve created to guard my heart, maybe too extensively; Although it is always wise guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.  But how do you find the balance?  How can you maintain a “heart of flesh” and “guard your heart” at the same time?  My heart says wisdom is the key.  I have no idea how God intends on healing me, and giving me this balance.  But somehow when I looked into His eyes and touched His face, I knew……He is able.

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